So, Carolanne & I have just truly realised we are total weirdos.
(And i currently see this in BLIND PRINT.)
Pretty much began when CA asked if she was weird or strange. I said we're both total weirdos.
Then we started sayin how we didn't even like normal men.
ie she has a GANDALF BEARD FETISH, and I am shamefully attracted to SIXTY TWO YEAR OLD Alan Rickman.
(And Sir Ian McKellen is SIXTY NINE.)
This is all kinds of wrong.
She discovered her type is long hair, brooding, dark & mainly fictional (lol) and mines is pretty much old and or evil.
Though she also does have a "cowboy thing"...
Oh, and the Jedi power. Which she holds over men (and some women) & it increases also with drunkenness!
Anyhoo, decided to write all this weirdness down while she was still here, cos it's like we've just realised how odd we both really are!!
Seriously.
OH! And we have telepathy. Honestly. Like Harry & Voldy.
Sometimes she feels my feeling at a distance & knows if i'm upset of whatever, and vice versa!
Weird.
We write each other letters, and use the term "Owl Mail" to describe it. We don't really even say letters anymore it's just owl mail. With no owls.
She addresses me as Mrs Severus Snape, the actual address from the book & complete with postcode.
I address her as Mrs Sirius Black. And she has an address too, and one time she sent me a letter from within the Ministry of Magic itself. And we even went on holiday once to the forest & sent each other actual postcards OF the Forbidden Forest.
We also ask how Snape & Sirius are doing, and keep up to date.
She sent me a letter one night cos she & Sirius had a particularly good night when they drank each others blood one time!
And she wrote me a dirty Snape fanfic, of him & Narcissa. Who is really me, because originally I was married to Lucius but then he got packed off to Azkaban and a woman has needs. LOL.
The History of Mrs Snape & Mrs Sirius is as follows!
Snape & I got together over a "sexually charged thunderstorm" one night... and realised I didn't love Lucius as much as I could ever love Snape. So i changed my name, and became Snape's wife.
We had a lovely honeymoon - nowhere too hot, as he wouldn't like walking around in public with anything less than full formal dress.
Sirius, is pretty much the love of CA's life. Even before she actually saw him. They met in Dumbledore's office, he winked & she passed out. He kissed her back to life!
So during all the Azkaban years she waited, all the time in Grimmauld Place and only a few conjugal visits a year.
So when he finally escaped, no one saw either of them for about a year.
When she got the feeling back in her lower body, she finally came round for a visit.
At that point i was still with Lucius, so things were slightly more reserved than would've been normal. He was under a tremendous amount of stress as they (all the Death Eaters) knew his grand plans were unravelling & the Dark Lord was about to make yet another comeback.
There was another reason for the tense atmosphere of course, that being that whilst poor Sirius was locked up in jail - Ca had become somewhat of a notorious Death Eater Groupie. The Jedi power of course was the real root of the problem, and even though it was weird for Lucius her suddenly being at his home, we got over it.
It was within the next few years that Lucius & I began to fall apart. He was showing weakness & turning into a man entirely different to the one i fell for. (The bastard!)
So although it was awful to have him imprisoned, it was somewhat of a relief.
Then CA introduce me to a friend of hers. Someone i always heard about through name of course, but hadn't met.
Severus Snape. Apparently even Sirius had grown tolerant of him despite their years of grudge. (which were almost always on Snape's side anyway)
We were starting to develop a friendship, but I was reluctant as i knew i had feelings for him and as Lucius was in Azkaban it felt strange.
Until one night, Snape was tiring of my reluctance to give into my obvious desire for him, though he daren't say it until he just snapped and burst into my front room, completely unannounced and let his feelings be known, and this is what happened. In Mrs Sirius' own words - as she wrote it all for me as a record, as I was obviously so caught up that the details are hazy!
"The door flew open, she did not need to turn around as she knew who was there, her heart was pounding in her chest.
"Caragh......LOOK AT ME!" he shouted.
She trembled with anticipation, she knew this was wrong, it had to be wrong to ache for another man whilst her husband was in Azkaban, she could hear his footsteps getting nearer, her heart raced faster, she felt she might explode............his strong hands grabbed her and threw her against the wall so that at last they were so close she could could feel him against her......
".Severus...." she whimpered, she looked into his eyes and knew she could no longer put up a fight against this man. She wanted him, needed him,she could resist this man not one second longer.
He raised his wand up to the back of her head and released her long blonde hair, then with another swift wand flick her robes fell to the floor, and she stood there in front of him, naked and vulnerable, he licked her face and started moving his slender hands over her soft skin, she could feel his hunger for her and this made her need for him even stronger. She felt his teeth start to bite at her neck, his hands caressing her body, she felt euphoric, she wanted to cry out, to scream, but her breath at that moment had left her body, she was intoxicated by her lust for him, she was weak in his arms, no man had ever made her feel this way.
Suddenly he stopped, he stood back and looked at her, she felt no embarrassment, no shame, she wanted him completely, she had lost all sense of reason, even if she wanted to stop herself her body wouldn't let her.
He licked his lips slowly, his eyes never faltering from her gaze, he removed his robes and threw them to the floor, his skin was so white it looked pure, his body hard and taught, she noticed a bead of sweat trickling from his navel to his groin, she reached out her hand to catch the droplet, he made a noise that can only be described as a growl!
He grabbed her wrist and threw her down on the floor, just then there was a loud crack of thunder, the lights went out, all that lit the room was the fire he had thrown her in front of, his face illuminated by the light of the fire made her skin tingle ,he lay down beside her , their naked bodies glowing in the firelight, she could control herself no longer.
She threw herself onto him, she needed to feel his body on her, she needed to taste him, she kissed his chest softly and slowly, she wanted to be in control now and tease him, she felt his heart beat as her cheek brushed his chest, she felt alive....at last.....all trace of reasonable thought had disappeared and Lucius was the last thing on her mind!
She straddled him, his eyes flashed, she could feel his need for her stronger than ever, she took his hand and lifted it to her face, she noticed the dark mark there on his arm, she gently kissed his hand, his wrist, she softly ran her tongue down the rest of his arm the dark mark driving her wild with desire, it proved to her his courage and dedication to his beliefs."
After that particularly charged night, we were unable to keep up the pretence any longer, and I publicly separated from Lucius. Snape moved into Malfoy Manor, and Draco who, was surprisingly accepting that i had entered into a relationship with his Godfather, he still visited every so often from Hogwarts on the holidays.
As you can see, this is a mega long entry so we will be further documenting the adventures & histories of Snape & Sirius (in our brains) loves & wives in a brand new shiny LJ coming soon!
Only of interest to 2 or 3 people, but who cares.
We know we're freaks, and we love it.
Plus we just want to publicise the FACT that we have entire ownership over Snape & Sirius, and literally anyone that tries anything with our husbands will be hunted down & hit with more hexes than they can name, before being put in a blender and shredded.
(LMAO.)
7/13/08 12:09 am
Funniest coincidental-icon-use moment ever.
When i went to upload it on photobucket, on the front page there's a link to a mullet photo album and now I can't get Achey Breaky Heart out my head.
DON'T TELLLL MA HEART....
Billy Ray Cyrus is a genius. But even more so as Robbie Ray :D
Hannah Montana is genius.
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crazy